Episode 2
We Show How Embracing Failure Accelerates Growth
In this episode I get into the attitudes that sit underneath SuccessIQ, and why I think mindset is the real foundation of lasting success.
It comes down to a handful of things that feed into each other: wanting to keep learning, seeing failure as feedback rather than a verdict, and taking full ownership of where you are. Get those right and you’ll feel the difference everywhere: in your business, at home, and in how you feel day to day.
I also walk through E + R = O. Events don’t decide your outcomes. How you respond does. Change the response, and you change where you end up.
This isn’t theory. It’s about building habits you can use: looking for solutions instead of problems, acting before you’re pushed, and having the nerve to keep going when it gets uncomfortable. And I explain why optimism and being genuinely yourself speed all of this up. They point you toward opportunity and take a lot of the friction out of change.
So have an honest look at where you are right now. If something needs to change, own it, and pick one thing you’ll actually do this week.
Takeaways:
- I stress that a constant desire to learn and grow is essential for lasting success.
- I accept failure as a teacher, and I learn from mistakes to improve outcomes.
- I take full responsibility for my actions and choose responses that lead to better outcomes.
- I act with a solution focus and move proactively to prevent problems from worsening.
- I stay optimistic and authentic while showing persistence and courage when facing difficult challenges.
Transcript
Hello and welcome to SuccessIQ podcast, the show for entrepreneurs who want to create and live an exceptional life.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Geoff Nicholson, and this is episode two.
Speaker A:Hello, everyone, wherever you are in the world.
Speaker A:I hope you are having an amazing day.
Speaker A:And if it's perhaps not even daytime yet when you listen to this, I hope you are about to start an amazing day.
Speaker A:So today, what I thought we'd do is we talk about the importance of mindset and the attitudes that are really key and fundamental to SuccessIQ.
Speaker A:So I think, first of all, there's this importance of when we are talking about success IQ and when we briefly talked about what we define as success, that ultimately is what we are trying to strive for.
Speaker A:And we are looking at purposefully doing everything that we need to do in order to achieve that, to benefit our lives, to benefit your loved ones around you, to benefit the people that you have interaction with on a daily basis.
Speaker A:Everything that you're doing is looking at, at least the way I look at it is, is we're looking at.
Speaker A:To improve someone's.
Speaker A:Someone's life.
Speaker A:And what I thought I'd do is I'd go through the key.
Speaker A:The key attitudes.
Speaker A:So I think the first one is, is the one that seems to stick out quite often is, is the.
Speaker A:The desire to learn and grow.
Speaker A:You know, if you're wanting to develop this great life, if you're wanting to create this brilliant business, if you're wanting to create a great relationship with your family and with your.
Speaker A:Your kids and your partners, there's that importance that sometimes we have to take that understanding is that we need to grow and develop.
Speaker A:You know, if you think about when you start getting into a relationship and then if you've been together for years, it's always evolving.
Speaker A:I've known my wife since I was 8 years old.
Speaker A:We started going out when I was 17 and maybe 18.
Speaker A:Actually, I was driving, so she was 17.
Speaker A:And there is that, you know, there is that thing.
Speaker A:We've been married now.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:It's 20, 20 years this year.
Speaker A:So, you know, I think about the lot of stuff that she's gone through and the support she's put me through, and there's that.
Speaker A:There's that need for both of us to be able to adapt and grow when kids come along.
Speaker A:It changes the whole dynamics of a relationship.
Speaker A:So everything is.
Speaker A:Everything is something that we need to look at.
Speaker A:If you are in business and you need to look at that, then you look at your business and you are always having to learn new skills, new Strategies, new techniques.
Speaker A:If you are wanting to be a great parent, there are.
Speaker A:You have to develop that.
Speaker A:You're not immediately born a great parent.
Speaker A:You immediately see your kids and you have this ridiculous, fantastic unit, unconditional love and need to protect them.
Speaker A:But that does not make you a great parent.
Speaker A:That has to be developed and learned.
Speaker A:It's a seriously key aspect of it.
Speaker A:But there is that there's other things that we have to learn.
Speaker A:So there's always that need to develop and grow in what needs to be done.
Speaker A:And that includes learning new things.
Speaker A:That includes the second one, which is about embracing failure.
Speaker A:You're going to make mistakes.
Speaker A:And the truth is, Darren Hardy talked about it.
Speaker A:I think it was in the compound effect that he wrote is he talked about that he got taught.
Speaker A:If you want to be successful quicker, then it is based on you being making more mistakes and you know, making big mistakes.
Speaker A:Because what happens is from your mistakes you learn.
Speaker A:And quite often there are people and you may be one of them, and I certainly have been one of them.
Speaker A:And there's certain aspects in my life with certain people, if I'm honest, that I still don't like making mistakes on.
Speaker A:But there's a big part of me that embraces and likes making mistakes.
Speaker A:Because if I make a mistake, I take the time and I have the patience to stop for a second, think about what I did wrong and then change the direction.
Speaker A:And I think part of the only way that we can learn and grow and develop is, is by making those mistakes.
Speaker A:It's an important aspect of our learning and our development and our growth.
Speaker A:So if you think about where you were and in your journey.
Speaker A:So if you're starting to be listening to this, maybe you're starting your new business, maybe you've got a business and it just needs to change.
Speaker A:Maybe you're just looking at putting a little bit more family time and personal time within your life because it seems to be all focused on the business.
Speaker A:All of that requires that growth.
Speaker A:And all of that also then requires that you understand the benefit and the power of responsibility.
Speaker A:See, if you want to be, if you want to make these changes, there are certain things that you have to take responsibility for in order to change them.
Speaker A:And we're not talking about blame, but what we're talking about, there is always something that you have the power to change.
Speaker A:Whether it's your attitude, your thoughts, the actions that you are taking, there is always something that you can do.
Speaker A:So if there's something not working right in your business, then you need to Take that step forward and go, okay, this is what we need to do.
Speaker A:We need to change it.
Speaker A:If sales aren't up, then it's not just a matter of putting your hands in your heads and going, oh, woe is me.
Speaker A:Sales is terrible.
Speaker A:It must be the economy.
Speaker A:Because the chances are that you're going to look and see other people who are doing well and you're going to wonder, why are they doing better than me?
Speaker A:And the chances are it's because they are doing something different.
Speaker A:And what you need to do is take the responsibility to change and do something more similar to that.
Speaker A:If your relationships aren't working right, it is about you taking that responsibility and going, yes, but I need to do something now.
Speaker A:Again, we can jump into the blame game then and said, but it's their fault.
Speaker A:It might be, but if you're wanting to make that change and if you're wanting to develop that relationship, then actually there's got to be some giveaway by you in order to go, okay, I need to have a conversation about stuff.
Speaker A: entor, Jack Canfield, back in: Speaker A:And it's in his book the Success Principles, which I highly recommend reading.
Speaker A:It's a really cool reading.
Speaker A:And it talks about E plus R equals O.
Speaker A:That's his formula, and other authors have used it in their books.
Speaker A:I think Paul McGee's got it in his book and I think Nigel Risner has got it in his book.
Speaker A:But he talks that.
Speaker A:I heard it from, from Jack, and it's E plus R equals O.
Speaker A:And E stands for event.
Speaker A:See, one of the biggest problems is.
Speaker A:No doubt we'll talk about this on the next episode when we talk about stress and resilience.
Speaker A:E stands for the event.
Speaker A:And quite often we're trying to control the event.
Speaker A:We're either micromanaging something or we're trying to do something that actually is just going to happen anyway.
Speaker A:The thing that's really key is how we respond to those events.
Speaker A:That's when we can take that responsibility into it and go, okay, well, what is it I choose to do?
Speaker A:Do I choose to go down my old path, which may not be very beneficial, or do I choose to do something that's going to be more positive?
Speaker A:And if it's positive, then the O, the outcome will be more beneficial to you?
Speaker A:It's going to be a more positive outcome.
Speaker A:It might not necessarily be the outcome that you desire, but unfortunately that's just life and life has that way, but it is moving you in a better direction.
Speaker A:If you respond negatively or perhaps the, the old way that isn't very beneficial to you, the outcome is going to either be the same or, or it's going to be worse.
Speaker A:So it depends on what's going on.
Speaker A:And the importance about this is it's all about how we look, look at situations because that's the, that's the thing.
Speaker A:If we want to grow, if we want to develop, we need to learn to change.
Speaker A:That's part of growth.
Speaker A:But we sometimes will prepare to change in some areas but not in others.
Speaker A:And that's where responsibility comes into it because you have to be willing to change in a lot of areas of your life.
Speaker A:If we're working on success iq, which is a whole model, then we got to look at, you know, spirituality, relationships, how we're doing, how we do our business, how we work in our business, how we run it, how we manage the people in it.
Speaker A:If you employ people, you know, how do we, how do we feel about ourselves?
Speaker A:How does that feel?
Speaker A:What responsibilities do I need to do?
Speaker A:So, for example, if you are, if you are suffering from stress, then your responsibilities are going to speak to someone about it in order to make a positive change.
Speaker A:If you are bringing stuff home and it's having an effect on the people around you, then you need to go and see someone because that's only going to create a toxic environment that's not going to do you or the people around you any good.
Speaker A:So it's about taking that sort of responsibility.
Speaker A:And don't forget it's that, you know, we talked, we, we, we will cover this saying quite often it's, if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll always get the same results.
Speaker A:Someone with a good sex, sex, sex.
Speaker A:Wow, that's, that's a whole nother level that one.
Speaker A:Someone who has a good success IQ that is about looking at things and being open and being honest and having that responsibility to go.
Speaker A:Things aren't working and I need to have that.
Speaker A:You need to be mindful, you need to have that awareness to go.
Speaker A:And I need to do something different.
Speaker A:And that's the really important thing.
Speaker A:It's about looking and changing.
Speaker A:And that's where the power of responsibility comes into it.
Speaker A:Also the, one of the possible, the other benefit attributes is solution focused.
Speaker A:They're always looking for a way out.
Speaker A:If you take a response, a way out to benefit them, should I say not a way out to escape?
Speaker A:If they if you are going through situations that aren't working, it is about being proactive, which is another one is about being proactive and how can I sort this out?
Speaker A:Not let's throw it into someone else's corner and let them deal with it and us not taking any responsibility.
Speaker A:It's about how can we assist ourselves in learning and growing so we don't do this again.
Speaker A:What solutions can we look for in order for us to move forward and how can we make sure that we're always kind of trying to keep ourselves ahead of the game and having that proactiveness is about doing the things before we hit the brick wall.
Speaker A:Also, I think there's a.
Speaker A:There's a real importance about being optimistic and whether this is something that really sort of kicked in for me when I was going through my own sort of illness and recovery is.
Speaker A:But rather than always seeing things as an out a way that's going to do me some harm or do me bad or coming from a place of distrust, I always believe that the people I'm going to make or the people I'm going to see are going to have a massive positive impact on me.
Speaker A:Now I have to say that even though that that's an optimistic.
Speaker A:The most powerful message that that might be might be that I never want to see those people again.
Speaker A:But it's a beneficial thing.
Speaker A:I don't come from that place of okay, let's have distrust and optimism is why can't we come from a place of thinking that everything's out to do is good.
Speaker A:Another thing that Jack Canfield has in his book is about being an inverse paranoid, which is about thinking that the world is out to do you good and the world is out to do you bad.
Speaker A:I don't see how that's a bad thing.
Speaker A:I think that if you come out there and look and trying to smell daisies rather than looking to see where the weeds are, I think you have a better appreciation of what is going on.
Speaker A:You have.
Speaker A:You possibly have a better and a quicker reaction to notice when there's a beneficial thing going on or something's changed for the positive.
Speaker A:If it is something that you're always looking the negative is perhaps the.
Speaker A:Your filter on your brain is probably looking for the wrong thing.
Speaker A:It's going to hold you back rather than actually help you move forward.
Speaker A:So that's another key one.
Speaker A:Another key attribute is, and these come really close together is persistent and courageous.
Speaker A:When you, as you will know if you've started your own business and as you pretty Damn well will know pretty soon if you're about to start your business.
Speaker A:There is an importance of not giving up.
Speaker A:Entrepreneurs and people with success IQ don't give up easily.
Speaker A:And they have this dogged determination that they are.
Speaker A:They keep on going.
Speaker A:You know, they, they embrace their failures.
Speaker A:They understand and they learn from the failures.
Speaker A:They understand that responsibility that we've gone through, but they are.
Speaker A:They refuse to give up.
Speaker A:And it's, it's something that's a real key attribute because if it's something worth fighting for, then you fight.
Speaker A:And as I, as I say quite often is those people that just want to settle for mediocrity, when they hit the brick wall, they give up.
Speaker A:Someone who has that, that dogged courage and determination will just persist and they'll go through that wall and they'll go through the next wall and the next one.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:But for me, it's about doing it from a healthy way.
Speaker A:It is.
Speaker A:It's about making sure that you are doing things with a, with a purpose and not just doing it because you've got your head down.
Speaker A:You're just looking at your feet and you're going for it.
Speaker A:There is that.
Speaker A:And that's where proactive this comes from.
Speaker A:And the foresight and the awareness is about looking at what's going on so you can see that that's the direction you need to go to.
Speaker A:But it is having that courage to go and try new things.
Speaker A:It's having that courage to have those conversations with the people that need to.
Speaker A:I hate conflict.
Speaker A:I really do.
Speaker A:But if I've got to have that conversation, I will have that conversation.
Speaker A:I don't have to.
Speaker A:I try to remove the emotion from it because I've realized, and I've learned from my illness that it's the emotion that generally causes the poison and, and if you want the toxic stuff.
Speaker A:So what I will do my utmost to do is try and remove the emotion out, get clear on what I need to do, and have those conversations if that's what needs to do, but that you have to have the courage in order to make those changes.
Speaker A:The other thing which I think is really important is about authenticity.
Speaker A:And I know this word is bounced around all the time because it's like the latest buzzword, but I do think being authentic to yourself is really important because when you are authentic to yourself, you are allowed to be the real you.
Speaker A:You don't come on with a facade.
Speaker A:You don't come on with this fake bravado, which I guarantee you people can see from a Mile off.
Speaker A:It is about coming to the, you know, showing up on a day to day basis being you.
Speaker A:And there's a, there's a huge importance about that because from my experiences is when we can be authentic, when we can be true to ourselves, there is an awful lot of conflict that is reduced.
Speaker A:There is some conflict that can be increased in the senses because you're being you and there's going to be people around you that may not be used to that or may try to change you because they feel uncomfortable.
Speaker A:But this is also about the courage side comes back into it about why shouldn't you be who you are.
Speaker A:Why should you have to be a version that makes other people happy?
Speaker A:And the chances are it wouldn't make, it probably doesn't make you as happy as you could be.
Speaker A:So I think that's a really important thing and also for me is it's the lessons that we teach the people that we care for.
Speaker A:So I would much prefer to be authentic and true to myself that will then kind of look at for my kids to see and go, well, if dad can be like that, why can't I be like that?
Speaker A:And you know, and I think that very much is as a response, as my responsibility of being a parent.
Speaker A:It is for me to let my children grow up understanding that they have to be true to themselves.
Speaker A:So I think that's a, it's a real key attitude to have action orientated.
Speaker A:Probably one of the most important things that we will talk about today is if you need to change, you need to do something about it.
Speaker A:And with all the niceties in the world, nothing is ever going to change if you don't take the action required.
Speaker A:You know, if you're, if you're wanting to have, you know, if you're want perfect example, if you're wanting to lose weight, sitting, looking at pictures, closing your eyes and just imagining that you, you know, you've, you've lost three stone and that you look good in your, your suit or you're able to fit into the car you want is not going to do anything.
Speaker A:It might make you feel good or it might make you feel worse by doing that, but actually it's not going to do anything about it.
Speaker A:If you want to get a book written and there is no, there's no other projects going on around, there's just that fear or there's just that, oh well, you know, I've, I've written all my notes and everything but I haven't taken the action to actually write it.
Speaker A:Then actually that's not going to benefit you.
Speaker A:It's not going to move you forward in your life.
Speaker A:If you need to find someone in a relationship, just looking through the online dating sites or, or kind of like wishing that you had someone in your life is not going to make a change.
Speaker A:You've got to go and do something about it.
Speaker A:And it's an important element that when you look at that, you understand what needs to change.
Speaker A:And as I say, this is why we talk about is the core and fundamental skills is this mindset and attitudes of what success IQ is about.
Speaker A:So, you know, so what I really wanted to do today was just to go through some of those attributes, some of those things that no doubt you already have.
Speaker A:Some of them you may need to work on, some of them you may need to develop a lot more.
Speaker A:But that is just acknowledging that whereabouts you are right now is probably one of the most important elements.
Speaker A:And then you know what you have to work on.
Speaker A:So I'd love to know what you think.
Speaker A:Please share with me your thoughts.
Speaker A:If you have any questions or any suggestions, please email me at podcastefnicholson.co.uk.
Speaker A:You can go to my website, which is www.jeffnicholson.co.uk and you'll find all my social media links and everything that you will need to follow me, find out more about me, links to my YouTube page, all of those sort of things.
Speaker A:Also, I'd be really grateful if you would share and please subscribe to the to the channel, to the podcast so you get to know more about what's going on and you'll always keep updated with the latest episode.
Speaker A:But review, share.
Speaker A:I asked that because I would love you to support me in helping me get a greater reach and making bigger impact to other people's lives.
Speaker A:It's my purpose, it's my mission.
Speaker A:That's what I do this for.
Speaker A:And I just want to take this final opportunity to wish you the greatest success.
Speaker A:Have an amazing day, an amazing week and I look forward to catching you next week.
Speaker A:Take care.
Speaker A:Bye bye.
Speaker A:Sa.
